ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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