I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
