Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
