I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
