You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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