and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
