We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
