We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
