is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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