I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I love having hate sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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