His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
