in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
