I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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