Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
