Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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