Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
