Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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