And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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