If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
