so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
