i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
