he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
