Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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