At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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