Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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