sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hippo gnu deer
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
