Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
