The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
