you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
