I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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