Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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