I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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