she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
