i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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