So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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