Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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