Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
