So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
