good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
