please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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