i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
