Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
