brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
