i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry about my life...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
