Yo dont text me then not text me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
