When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
