Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
