did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
