he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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