I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
