and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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