You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're like the curious george of whores
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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