Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
pray to the hookup gods
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
