I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Found the puke drawer
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
