Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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