I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you inspire me to be a worse person
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
