I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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