She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
