Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
