I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
